Earlier this week, after a 28 hour long trip from Mexico to Romania, I arrived home. Or did I? Is this place still home? Where is home? I mean my family and the majority of my friends are here, but my angel is ten thousand miles away…
This time I’ll stay just one month here and then go back, but last year, we were on different continents for ten consecutive months! Uhhh! That wasn’t pleasant, but we’ve made it through.
I’m sure that there are millions of people out there that are (or will be) in a similar situation. Separated, intentionally or unintentionally, from the person you love. Today’s article is for you. I hope it helps.
For me, personally, the most important thing you can do is to stay in touch. Distance can be a barrier between physical bodies, but it does not need to interrupt communication. Text messages, video or voice chats, emails or even snail mail! (previously called letters)
Talk, talk, talk. You don’t need to talk a lot, just often. Don’t let your mind feel the distance. Love creates a very strong bond between people and if two souls from different parts of the planet can fall in love over the Internet, then don’t tell me you can’t keep the bond alive!
Always add value
The fact that you cannot meet does not mean that you stop adding value to the relationship. On the contrary, now that you’re NOT there, you should focus a lot on finding ways to be of service, whatever that means to your partner.
You can learn about the different ways to love someone in one of my previous articles, so I won’t talk about that, but rather remind you that love never stands still. Either your relationship is growing or it’s diminishing. You decide.
Don’t come angry to the conversation
Fights and disagreements are a bit harder to settle when you’re not really face to face. I’m not saying that you should strategically plan when you’ll start or go into fights. On the contrary, harmonious relationships are those in which disagreements are settled whilst both people still remember that they are talking to their life partner.
Both me and Adriana are two very passionate people, so I’m talking from experience when I say that there may be times when your mind just forgets who you’re talking to. We have learned much about each other and about ourselves, and disagreements now never last more than 30 minutes.
When you’re close to each other, you can express your love in many different ways, but when you’re apart, communication is the only medium, so it’s a good idea to become better at it and also make every conversation meaningful!
Meet whenever possible
I have personally flied to Mexico and back three times in the past 2 years. In less than a month I’ll go for another ride. I’m not the richest 24 year old I know and the plane tickets, logistics, switching planes, travel time and then (again) jetlag, “hurt”, to say the least, but being separated from my angel hurts much more.
She has offered on multiple occasions to help me with the tickets and also planned on coming to Romania a few times, but I was blessed enough until now to never need help. Most of my friends call me a workaholic, but the truth is that I am not going to let little things like distance, money or mood get between me and my dreams.
Money can be made back later and the struggles of today will seem meaningless in a few years, but the beautiful moments I spend with Adriana are priceless.
Have a (written) plan
I’m very well aware that not everyone can afford the “luxury” of flying around the world or, in some cases, traveling between cities, but that’s why you make plans.
We humans always need something to look forward to. “I’ll make this amount of money, then I can come visit!” or “We’ll both find a job in that city and then rent an apartment together!” are just two examples of beautiful goals that might just make someone jump out of bed in the morning.
Life is unfair. I think we can accept that. Not everyone is born into this world with the same opportunities, but I also think that we can all achieve our goals, one way or the other!
Over 85% of Billionaires today are self-made. People that started poor, but worked hard and smart enough to change their circumstances. We can all do the same, no matter where we start off.
Trust & Commitment
Don’t you just hate it when people that are single or in unhappy relationships give YOU relationship advice? If I heard it once, I heard it a million times: You shouldn’t trust so much. Who knows what she/he is doing.
Both me and Adriana received this piece of “advice”, without asking for it, of course.
Look, if you cannot trust another person to be faithful to you, then don’t go into (or stay in) the relationship in the first place! Why would you? You’ll just constantly feel bad and make the other person feel bad as well!
I believe that complete and unconditional trust is the foundation of true love. I have seen first hand just how toxic feelings like jealousy can be for a relationship. It either makes the couple unhappy or breaks it up completely.
Side-note: If you are in an open relationship, act like it or change something. There is no middle ground. Figure out what you want and go for it.
Now that you’re physically separated, you might think that you can’t do much… Wrong! I couldn’t end this article without telling you that there are always tens of methods at your disposal to make something happen.
There is a slight possibility that your partner does not like pleasant surprises, but most people do. Also, don’t think that just because you like a specific surprise or gift, your partner will appreciate it just as much.
For example: I like books, Adriana likes shoes. I would love two tickets to a 3-day Tony Robbins seminar, Adriana would love two tickets to a 3-day vacation to Miami, and the list goes on. Don’t get me wrong. I would also love the tickets to Miami and Adriana would love to go to the seminar, but not at the same level.
There are many, many ways to enjoy life. Even a pleasant game of Monopoly feels amazing sometimes! A simple stroll in the park might seem beautiful! Or a handwritten letter at the right moment can feel like the most romantic gesture ever! (I personally cried once…)
Love is a beautiful feeling… Take care of it. No matter how far apart you are.
Creating a better tomorrow,