I see and hear about it all the time. Single people that wish they would be in a relationship or people that are already in a relationship that wish they would be single. Funny how life works, isn’t it?
The honest truth is that parents don’t really teach their children very practical ways to find the right person. At least I know I didn’t get much help on this specific topic. Have you?
Even if you have and even if you haven’t, I hope today’s article will be useful for you. Enjoy.
First of all, you need to create a void
Don’t expect the perfect person to just pop-up from nowhere if you’re already in a relationship. I’m not saying that it can’t happen, but I wouldn’t date someone that is OK with the “mistress” status. Of course, if that’s fine with you, be my guest.
The moment you’re single, you can take any decision you want and others also notice the difference. I’ve personally never met someone who is OK with being alone for the rest of their lives. That’s just not human. We’re social creatures. We feel the need to be in a relationship.
Even if some people try to mask the feeling, it’s still there. They just end up regretting a life of solitude because of fear. The fear of being hurt or the fear of not being good enough or whatever fear is keeping them back from opening up and loving openly.
Love is an amazing feeling. Don’t let your past interfere with your present or future. I’m sorry for whatever happened to you, but if you don’t allow yourself to love openly anymore, then the only one you’re punishing for what happened is yourself. Don’t go there, it’s just not worth it.
Stop looking. Start seeing!
Today’s physical standards are a joke. Both men and women are expected to look incredible. Sadly, woman have even higher standards to meet than men. I’m sorry, but that’s what I think.
Magazines and other forms of mass media have filled our heads with unrealistic images of “beautiful” body shapes. Don’t fall into the trap. Please. There are many more qualities of both men and women alike that are far more important that physical appearance.
I am now in a relationship with the most beautiful girl I have ever met! I don’t say she’s beautiful because of how she looks, but rather because of tens of other traits that she has!
Don’t get me wrong, she’s is genuinely gorgeous(!!), but that’s not what makes me crazy for her! (though I must say that it helps)
She has some traits that are very important for me. She’s loyal, honest, smart, funny, ambitious, committed, open minded and a hundred other things that just fascinate me completely.
I feel incredibly lucky to have her in my life and try my best to remind her every day. We do have disagreements from time to time, but they’ve become extremely rare and they don’t last more than half an hour. The progress we’ve made in the past two years is incredible, both as a couple and as individuals.
What about you? Do you know exactly what you want to see? Remember, you cannot hit a target that you cannot see. If you are truly committed to having the most amazing relationship of your life, you must first know what that looks like.
Describe your perfect boyfriend/girlfriend
Most people never take the time to ask themselves “What do I really, truly want?” and then write it down, but then again, most people are in unhappy relationships. I wonder why?…
If you’re reading this, I’m sure you’re an exception. You’re not going to let something as fragile as chance dictate the fate of one of the most important relationships you’ll have in your entire life.
So, what can you do? Simple. On a blank sheet of paper, write at the top: My perfect couple (or soul mate, or however you wish). Next, make a list of all of the qualities, traits, values, believes, likes, dislikes and basically whatever you can think of, that he or she will possess.
This is not the time to hold back or be greedy with paper. If you need more than one page, use another, but write down EVERYTHING that is important to you. You might be really into someone that’s outgoing, or you might prefer a calmer, more quiet partner. There is no perfect partner, but there is the perfect partner for YOU!
Ready? OK. Now that you have the list, please make a visual distinction of the necessary items. For example, on my list I had both Loyal and Outgoing. I could perfectly accept someone that’s not outgoing, but I will NOT accept someone that’s unfaithful, so I marked the item Loyal as necessary.
Do this with your list. You’ll find that out of the tens of things you’ve written, only a handful are musts and the other ones are nice-to-haves. This step is important because it also makes you think about your own values, what you cherish and care about most.
If you make a void in your life and then decide on exactly what you want, the Universe now has a set of concrete instructions that it will use to present you with what you want, with one condition: You need to be prepared for when the time comes.
Who do YOU need to be to attract that person?
Now that you know who you’re searching for, I’m sure you also know that the person you just described will not go out with anyone… No way. They’re also searching and they want someone that will bring to the relationship just as much value as they will.
Look at the list you made that described your ideal couple. Is it long? Good. Now make a list of all the traits that you think they will want to see in their future couple. If you’ve written 20 items in your first list, this list should have at least 20 items to match, maybe more.
If you write these two lists, you’ll be way ahead of 95% of the world who have no real clue regarding what they want and who they need to be so that they attract that special someone.
To conclude, I would just like to mention that if you are already in a relationship and would like to know if you two are “compatible”, then do the same exercise and the, after you have both lists, give your couple grades from 0 to 10 on each of the items you’ve written down.
After you finished that, look at the list of who you would have to be and ask: If I were , how would I grade on these items? This simple exercise might me a real eye-opener for you. If you want, you can also share your “findings” with your couple and see what they have to say. (you might be amazed)
I have the belief that luck is nothing but the point of intersection between opportunity and preparation. The harder we work, the luckier we get. It’s that simple. (applies perfectly to relationships also)
Don’t leave your future or current relationship to chance. Be or become the person you need to be for the person you want in your life. Take charge, make it happen. Best of luck.
Creating a better tomorrow,