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At the end of 2013 I decided to read a book boldly entitled Have a New You by Friday. The book is written by Kevin Leman and, as the title suggests, the book chapters are: Monday, Tuesday, etc. πŸ™‚

Because of all the exaggerated titles I see today, I was naturally skeptic, but after doing a bit of research I decided to give it a try!

Needless to say, the book was awesome and I recommend it strongly! I disciplined myself to read 1 chapter per day. Not more, not less. So every day was like watching a TV series! (the main difference being that this one was actually worth my time! πŸ™‚ )

The information I’ll share with you today has left a huge impact on me and my relationship and I hope it will also help you, to a certain degree, so let’s get right into it!

The 5 Love Languages

Everyone uses and feels each language to a certain degree, but each of us has 1 that’s dominant and knowing which one that is, both for you and your spouse (and, of course, acting accordingly), will leave a huge impact on your relationship and you can rest assured that the term “happily ever after” will sound true to you!

Also, take into consideration that some people might also dislike a certain language! This can be for several reasons and mostly because of a childhood trauma, but if that’s the case, just talk about it and find a solution that you both like.

Gifts

I currently do not know any person that genuinely does not like pleasant surprises or gifts. Yes, some people tell you about you shouldn’t have or even that they would rather you NOT bring them anything, but that’s usually because they’re genuinely nice or they instantly think about repaying the favor somehow (and that includes some effort πŸ™‚ ).

Gifts can be anything from small (but super important) demonstrations of affection like flowers, a cup-cake, ice-cream, a letter or even a poem to larger gifts for special event like shoes, watches, jewelry, gadgets and so on.

The most important aspect about this love language is knowing (or finding out) what is it you should be giving?

My angel loves flowers, ice cream and poems and I love personal and professional development books! πŸ™‚

Note: This doesn’t mean she doesn’t like books, but rather that she attaches more love/sentiment to other gifts.

Quality time

As does everything we do in life, a strong bond is built and maintained with time. But don’t get me wrong, being in the same physical space whilst watching tv, reading the news, playing games, etc. does NOT count as quality time!

If you truly love someone you will invest time in getting to know them better, going for walks, taking a course together, travel, go out, etc.

Of course, there are many distractions today, but I highly recommend dedicating distraction-free time DAILY towards your significant other.

If you have a long distance relationship (as we’ve had for a total of 1.5 years) block some time in your agendas daily for a voice or even video call. If either of you is in a place without much internet, use the old fashioned way and write a daily letter! Their super cheap to send nowadays! πŸ™‚

Words of affirmation

“I love you!”, “You’re beautiful!”, “Sweet dreams!”. Just some of the daily affirmations we use in our relationship. Upon reading this, some guys might think: “Wait a minute… Isn’t this every woman’s love language!?”. πŸ™‚

The simple answer is simply: No. It’s true that most women have a high affinity towards words, but that’s because their brain hemispheres are much better linked to each other so, for them, every word has a sentiment attached to it.

If you’ve interacted with women before, I’m sure you’ve heard the legendary: “It’s not what you said, it’s how you said it…” πŸ˜€

But this does not mean that that’s their dominant language. It can be any of the five, so be on the lookout! πŸ™‚

Acts of service

This can be anything from taking out the trash, washing the dishes, fixing the TV to even opening/closing the door (yes, woman still appreciate men that put in the effort πŸ™‚ ) and even turning off the light after both are already in bed. πŸ™‚

Remember, each language can be expressed in a million ways! Maybe you genuinely don’t like cooking breakfast for your couple, but you don’t mind getting your hands dirty when something breaks around the house.

The easiest way is to talk about it. Also, you can test and see what makes your couple happy and what they would prefer you stop doing. πŸ™‚

Physical Touch

Cuddling, holding hands, playing with each other, sex and anything else you can think of goes here. At this point, our female readers are thinking: “Men…” πŸ˜€

Possibly to your surprise ladies, this is another misconception. πŸ™‚

True, men tend to love physical contact more often. We like to hold you close, to protect you, to satisfy you. It’s just “the manly thing to do” :). But, as I explained above for woman, men’s dominant language can be any of the 5! Luckily for you, we have no innate interest in being “mysterious” so it’s easier for you to figure us out. πŸ™‚

Whilst reading, you might have had some “Aha! moments” regarding your love language and/or that of your significant other. It’s crucial to love others as THEY WANT to be loved and not how you want. You can find out many things about yourself and others through Mr. Kevin’s books and genuinely improve your life overall.

The only thing I want to mention is that this does not apply only to your couple! I highly suggest you dedicate the same effort into loving your children (if you have), friends and family!

Acting upon this simple information has drastically improved my relationship and I hope it will help you just as much.

Creating a better tomorrow!

Robert

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